“A riddle trapped in an enigma, trapped in a maze, trapped in a glorious girl.”
—
May 2010
“You’re the echoes of my everything. You’re the emptiness the whole world sings at night. You’re the laziness of afternoon. You’re the why I burst and why I bloom. You’re the leaky sink of sentiment. You’re the failed attempts I never could forget. You’re all the metaphors I can’t create, to comprehend this curse that I call love.”
—
Stay Awake
Lydia
Lydia - Stay Awake
A day in the sun;
is today. Memorial day off tomorrow. Even if my bed is small and only had one side anyway, I’m pretty positive it was the right one.
“When I see you the World stops. It stops and all that exists for me is you and my eyes staring at you. There’s nothing else. No noise, no other people, no thoughts or worries, no yesterday, no tomorrow. The World just stops and it is a beautiful place and there is only you. Just you, and my eyes staring at you. I stared. When you’re gone, the World starts again, and I don’t like it as much. I can live in it, but I don’t like it. I just walk around in it and wait to see you again and wait for it to stop again. I love it when it stops. It’s the best fucking thing I’ve ever known or ever felt, the best thing, and that, beautiful Girl, is why I stare at you.”
— James Frey
In a testament to the power of fatigue, I managed to fall asleep quickly, convinced that the shrieking of dying monsters and her delighted squeals upon killing them were nothing more than a pleasant soundtrack by which to dream. I woke up half an hour later, when she sat down on my bed, her butt against my hip. Her underwear, her jeans, the comfortor, my courduroys, and my boxers between us, I thought. Five layers, and yet I felt it, the nervous warmth of touching — a pale reflection of the fireworks of one mouth on another, but a reflection nontheless. And in the almostness of the moment, I cared at least enough. I wasn’t sure whether I liked her, and I doubted whether I could trust her, but I cared at least enough to try to find out. Her on my bed, wide eyes staring down at me. The enduring mystery of her sly, almost smirking smile. Five layers between us.
i never claimed to be anything more than a simple girl hell-bent on making herself a little less shitty.
you added the rest.
i c what u did there
really morbid mood. blood & gutz 4eva.
Play
if something isn't going your way, CHANGE IT.
Are you an official couple with the last person you kissed?
no.
Looking back, did you ever think you would be where you are now?
never.
Do you remember who you had feelings for December 2009?
yes.
Is there that one guy/girl that you’ll always have feelings for no matter what?
it’s starting to look that way.
You’ve just had an argument with the boy/girl you like, you walk away. Do you want them to leave you alone?
of course not, i’m a girl.
Who were you last in a car with?
mother.
What color was the last pill you took?
white. loratab for this cyst :[
Think of the last person you kissed, when was the first time you talked to them on the phone?
too long ago to remember.
Are you losing feelings towards anyone?
yes.
Has more than one person ever told you they’re in love with you?
yeah.
Do you regret your last kiss?
meh.
What time did you get up today?
6:00 AM.
Ever liked someone who treated you wrong?
oh hey story of my life.
Who did you like in ‘09?
please see above.
The person you fell hardest for, do you still care about them?
unfortunately.
Who was the last person you were on the phone with?
mom.
Have you ever slept on a couch with someone?
quite a few times.
When is the next time you will leave your house?
after i shower and get ready.
If your ex was to call you right now, what would you do?
talk to him.
Think of the last person who hurt you, do you forgive them?
not right now.
Has someone ever called you at midnight on your birthday?
allison felmet holds the record for this.
When was the last time you saw your mom?
less than 5 minutes ago.
Last place you fell asleep other than your bed?
school.
What is the last thing you drank today?
h20.
Who was the last person you talked to in person?
mom.
When is the next time you’ll see one of your best friends?
later tonight probably.
Who has the ability to hurt you the most emotionally?
him.
Have you ever kissed someone whos name started with a D, N or M?
all 3.
Where do you want to move to when you’re older?
to live beside an ocean.
Do you have a lot of pictures in your room?
i do. i love having pictures everywhere.
You’re single, why?
because i’m not into giving more than i’m getting.
Who’s hoodie did you last wear?
jessica’s.
Ever been called babe?
yes.
Is it okay to like someone else when you have a boyfriend/ girlfriend?
why be with someone if you like someone else?
What happened at 10:00 am?
ovary pain.
Say you were given an alcohol test right now, would you pass?
yes.
You’re rude, aren’t you?
depends on who you are.
Would you ever be a stripper?
no.
Last person to text you?
steven, to catch up. haven’t talked to my bff in forever.
Have you ever thought about killing someone in detail?
don’t make me mad.
What color shirt are you wearing?
plum.
Have you kissed more than 20 people in your life?
yes.
Do you ever wonder how other people see you?
depends.
Would you rather someone lie to protect you or be honest and hurt you?
be honest and hurt me. never ever ever lie to save my feelings.
What does your phone do when it receives a new text?
vibrates.
Who did you last shoot a dirty look at?
i don’t think anyone recently.
Who do you have the most texts from in your phone right now?
i just emptied my inbox.
let's go back to the start and see just how many drinks that it took for you to forget me.
